2 days of OAH down and 2 to go. I am exhausted but I've taken away so much more than I even hoped.

So far this I've been to panels on:
Ways to teach history.
The history of conservatism (and I now know I hate the term anti feminist and want something more appropriate)
Religion and Politics in the late 18th/early 19th century- no really, it was in the book, I am not making it up!!
Public History and Community Engagement- I have 5 pages of notes from this one, obviously I took a lot away from it. As I said at the reception later that night "I feel armed with the tools I need to get more from the University than they want to give me in terms of fellowship money for undergrads" 
Desegregation and  conservatism, I didn't pick this, I went to this instead of a public history round table because small group discussions aren't my thing some days. I thought I would hate it but it was actually really good.

Just like AHA, every time I turn around there is someone else impressive behind me. The first day I turned around in a book booth and there is Peter Hoffer lecturing the sales rep about book prices, when I went over to another booth only to find out his newest book is essentially what I wanted to write my senior thesis on, he told me I should go on amazon and buy it cheaper- then argued with the rep.

I'm still upset about the fact that every idea I've had for the research I want to do seemed to have just come out in book form in the past 2 days. I keep telling myself that It isn't a bad thing. It means that I am on the right track, my ideas are good, I am thinking like people who are getting published. Except they are getting published and I am plodding along trying to get through this undergrad degree with out going crazy. I'll get there, someday.

As for right now, I am going to go try and go back to sleep for an hour, I've got a day full of panels. As tired as I am, I am so grateful that I get to do this.

I want to do this

CONFERENCE ON FAITH AND HISTORY

I REALLY want to do it. I am terrified. It would be a great opportunity for me and they are open to undergraduates. I'd have to come up with an abstract in less than two weeks. I am terrified to try, I'll kick myself if I don't.
I'm going to sleep on it and kick around some ideas and see what shakes out.

Advice is gladly accepted.

On the cusp of OAH I have no other word but excitement!!
It's another weekend full of history. Not that every day of my life hasn't been filled with history, but this is the kind of history I get to pick.
There is something to be said about learning about something you are interested in. I enjoy my medieval and Islamic history classes but this semester the class I a m enjoying the most is my research methods class. It's because I can choose what I am researching. It's something interesting to me every week. It's the same idea with OAH. I get to listen to lectures on American History and Public History and the future of both.

Then there is the books...

Ok, I cleaned the drool off my keyboard, back to writing. The idea that I am able to explore my own area of interest seems to be refreshing me and will hopefully kick me out of this end of semester slump I've been in.

Did I mention the books?

Shamless self promotion

A break from not doing the things I am supposed to be doing.

For those of you who don't know me personally, you probably don't know much about me, but a small part of me ( and this will be debated) is that I have Multiple Sclerosis. I'm fortunate enough that it doesn't effect my life drastically now, and I'd like to keep it that way. Every year we participate in a walk to help raise money for  research. I find the best way to do this is to just tell every one. So if you're feeling generous  please donate

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Walk/WIGWalkEvents?team_id=285322&pg=team&fr_id=18303

Thanks! 

I'm not lazy!

I had such high hopes for spring break.  I would post here, I would finish research, I would read The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism. Instead I watched J. Edgar and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, spent way too much time goofing off with my friends and drinking, napping, hanging out with the dog and enjoying the unseasonably warm March in Wisconsin.

I am a chronic overachiever. I do too much take on too many projects and it's rare that I take a week like this to unwind and relax. So please do not judge me as lazy, I am just normal, for a change. I will try and get back to writing here more regularly and more often, because if I don't practice writing and think about writing how will I ever learn to write. That being said it's back to routine.
Although seems like a week with no use for school has made me forget everything.

Ritalin is for the weak!

I need to focus. Naturally I am the kind of person who does too much at once, I worry about things I don't really need to worry about. For instance, the GRE.
I've really got another year before I have to worry about it, that is if I don't overload myself with another semester like this one and take too many credits. I keep taking practice tests and letting this black cloud of test hang over me. It's not the language portion I am worried about (at least I don't think I should be worried about it) it's the math.
Math- my nemesis. Who ever started the lie that learning music helps build math skills should be beat! I am a great musician, awful mathematician. I just don't get how math works. I know it's all logic but for some reason my head doesn't grasp the concept.  I have no clue how I am going to get through this test. I've gotten so overly anxious about it, no one will tell me how they did because it sends me in to a tailspin of panic. The result is, instead of doing the things I am supposed to be doing, like writing up my research paper for class, I am sitting online taking Kaplan's test your brain thing- and panicking.

I feel like I should just take it get it over with and never think about it again.

Time time time time time.

I don't know how people do this. I really don't.
There is so much to do and so little time. This is usually my busiest time of the semester. Midterms seem to coincide with everything else going on in my personal life.  On top of midterms, and all sorts of other things, we're planning our Phi Alpha Theta initiation.
I have 8 half written blog entries just sitting in a folder on my laptop.

Stay tuned. I promise. Over break they will be finished and posted.